As October approaches, my agitation begins knowing the inevitable is near. Although October is my birthday month and I should be excited to celebrate another year of life, it only reminds me that I’m getting older whilst my loved ones around me are dying. I would like to say that my agitation is caused by Halloween. Anyone that knows me knows I despise Halloween. To me Halloween is the most ridiculous whatever it is in the history of stupid celebrations. Let’s call it for what it is, a day for adults to dress up, get drunk and escape their own lives. Halloween is especially important for so called “Straight” men. This is the one day of the year they don’t have to explain why they feel liberated dressed as a woman. I know, I know, but it’s fun for the kids, blah, blah, blah. As a parent, I’m not ok with allowing my son to knock on the door of a guy featured on the home page of Meaganslaw.com. Yes, he might have the best lawn on the block, a great moustache and some kick ass candy, but the last thing a parent needs to hear is their child has been added to the missing children registry only to be found in a crawl space years later when the new homeowners decide to remodel.

So what could possibly be the most annoying thing about October? Well since you asked, the most annoying thing about October is that every HACK DJ in the United States is going to call it ROCKTOBER. Oh yes, these unoriginal, narcissistic time killers start salivating with the thought of using this stupid play on words weeks, and even months before the month even begins. If you ask me, the creation of Rocktober is the direct cause of today’s alarming trend of fusing two names together in a failing attempt to create a clever moniker. I don’t have to remind you of ridiculous names like Bennifer and Bradjelina. The list goes on and on, but just typing those names made me feel stupid, so two is my limit.

The entertainment business has drastically declined with clueless and I MEAN CLUELESS, executives patting themselves on their backs daily for these so called genius decisions. One has to wonder if the DJ’s actually enjoying saying something as stupid as ROCKTOBER or they are being forced by one of those brilliant executives.

So here is the burning question:

On what day did this person come up with the idea of Rocktober and on that day, could their tongue have been cut out along with their vocal chords before this moronic thought was heard only to go on and desecrate a once great month like October? I guess it’s too late now, so all I have to say is Rest In Peace October, you will be missed.